Have You Cheated on Your Spouse About Money?


Infidelity does not only happen in bed, but also in our minds and the things we do everyday. Whether you realize it or not, you might have cheated your partner in money matters.

Financial matters can be a sensitive subject for anyone, especially for husband and wife. Without open mindedness and good communication between both parties, it could develop into an ‘open wound’ that would hurt one’s marriage in the future.

Based on several interviews, LiveOlive have summarized five actions that might lead to serious problems in the future:

1. Lying about expensive purchases

Honesty is one of the most important “pillars” in a marriage. By being honest, your partner will develop trust in you. In all aspects, honesty is the best policy, including when you take pleasure in your Prada purchase... Yes, most of us have done it; splurged money on bags, shoes, or other expensive stuff that only matter to women.

Ladies, rather than lying about your shopping spree and letting your partner know about it himself, you can let him know about your spending and agree on the amount that you can spend on luxury items within a certain period, e.g. every quarter.

Lisa, 35, learned about this the hardest way. She sold some of the jewelry that were given by her husband as gifts and used the money to start a small business. After her husband found out about it, he was still supportive of her business, but he never give her a gift in the form of jewelry anymore.

2. Hiding personal wealth

After married, both parties are entitled of their partner’s possessions. Therefore, it is better that your spouse knows about each financial product that you have – whether it is a certificate of deposit, saving account, or insurance policy. That way you and your spouse can determine the next financial goals together.

For example, if your partner does not have a lot of money, you can find a way and collaborate to get a higher amount of income, and cut spending. If your partner has a lot of money, you can have more investment and accelerate your plans for the future.

Knowing each other’s wealth is also important for a married couple when one person suddenly passed away. If your partner does not know about your secret bank account or the hidden safe deposit box in the wall, those assets will not be useful for your family members. That means all efforts that you have made to save them, would be totally useless.

3. Keeping debt? Yes, that too!

Twelve years ago, John, 40, was really shocked when his then-fiancée (now wife) Olin, told him about her huge credit card debt. Olin came clean to him that she had difficulty in managing her income and asked for his help. The couple solved the problem before they got married and their marriage is still going strong until this day.

Hiding debt from your spouse is wrong, no matter how big or small it is. If it is the other way around, you too will feel disappointed, right?

4. Giving money to parents

The next unwritten rule in a marriage is agreeing on the amount to give out to your parents or charity. No matter how much it is, make sure your spouse knows about it. The last thing you want is to lose trust from your partner, or even worse, make him or her doubt your fidelity.

You might think that giving money to parents or charity is a good cause, but without the consent of your partner, it could lead to disaster.

5. Lying about going somewhere

You probably like to go to a place that your partner hates. For example, you love mountaineering and wall climbing, but your wife did not like it because, according to her, it is dangerous and expensive.

Therefore, you told your wife you were going somewhere else, when actually you were out there climbing Mount Rinjani.

This kind of lies is not just silly, but also dangerous. Imagine if you have an accident or need some kind of emergency assistance, your partner will not be able to track you down. If you have a joint account, the problem will be more complicated, because your partner will not be able to make any financial decisions while you are away.

The habit of lying about small things could grow into bigger things. Therefore, good communication and honesty are needed to maintain a happy and long-lasting marriage.

Read also: How to Deal with Partner’s Bad Money Habits

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