5 Potential Problems Every Newlywed Should Avoid


Congratulations! You just married the love of your life! Are you still walking on clouds?  

Well, do not assume that your marriage life will only be filled with happiness. Several new problems that have never arisen before while you were still dating may arise after marriage. That is why it is very important for you and your partner to sit down together and talk about things, especially those concerning financial matters, so that you can avoid the following 5 problem seeds:

1. Fighting Over How to Divide Income

How to divide your income should be discussed way before you get married. Riri, 29, regretted the fact that she did not discuss this particular point during courtship. Since both of them are working, the couple split their income equally, which is 50% of their respective incomes. Unfortunately, this does not take into account the fact that her husband is an entrepreneur who often does not have a fixed salary each month.

“At times I get annoyed because the amount of money that my husband gives me each month varies. More often than not, my half is bigger than his,” Riri explained.

2. Giving Money to Parents

As part of the ‘East’ culture, giving money to parents is imperative for many people. However, after marriage your responsibility has grown to encompass not only your parents but also your spouse. Gloria, 28, said that she did not have a problem with her partner giving a portion of his salary to her in-laws, because she did the same thing.

“Since we’ve been dating, we both know that we will both set aside personal money to give to each of our parents,” she said.

3. Funds for Charity

Apparently charity can be a point of issue between a husband and a wife –at least according to Riri. She said giving to charity should be something that is done sincerely and not pegged to a specific amount, especially if the amount reaches millions of rupiah. Only after more than a year of marriage, Riri began to realize that giving to charity, especially if it is based on personal belief, is something that cannot be breached upon.

4. Funds for Certain Expenditures

Although after marriage there is a budget that is collected from each couple’s respective paychecks, sometimes either you or your partner would like to buy a fairly expensive item. How would your partner react if you suddenly buy the latest iPhone worth nearly Rp 9 million without consulting him or her first? Gloria said she gets upset when her husband purchases expensive items that are not considered essential. She was once furious at her husband for buying an SLR camera worth Rp 15 million.

“What annoyed me was that there were plenty of other unpaid matters such as our mortgage. Instead of buying expensive items, it would be better to pay off our mortgage, right?” she said. It is better to discuss with your spouse about how much and what type of expenses should be discussed together.

5. Who Will Take Care of the Parents

You may be newlyweds, but it is better if you start talking about who will take care of your or his parents. For this matter, both Gloria and Riri confessed to not having discussed this with their husbands. Gloria is not too worried because both she and her husband still have siblings who can share the role of taking care of their parents when sick. Riri and her husband, on the other hand, have not even considered it, because parents from both sides are still equally healthy.

Discuss big issues with your partner before you decide to get married, because it will help you identify the problems early on –before anyone gets hurt.

Quiz: Are You Financially Compatible as a Couple?

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