How to Deal with Partner’s Bad Money Habits

You have found “the one” and he is Prince Charming – or pretty close. He treats you well and family and friends love him. He even has a stable, well-paying  job.

However, certain things make you uneasy. Prince Charming spends all of his salary and does not have any  savings. He does not pay bills on time and debt collectors start appearing.

But  you are in love!

While we all have heard that love is blind, turning a blind eye to these warning signs will eventually cause tension in your relationship. Research shows that money argument is the number one cause of  divorce.

Here are some ways to deal with the love of your life when his finances are all wrong.

Talk Money with Your Honey

Have an open and honest discussion with your partner. Make it clear that hiding money issues from each other is not acceptable.

More importantly, try to understand the cause for his behavior. Is it purely lack of knowledge about how manage money or is it something much more?

"What it finally boiled down to was that Daniel was over-spending because when he was growing up, his parents were too frugal. Now that he is earning his own money, he feels the need to compensate for his deprived childhood by splurging on things. Once I understood, I was able to help him deal with it," says Evy, about his boyfriend.

Ideally this talk should happen before marriage but if it didn't, it is never too late.

Get Some Help

Often times, a third party who is neutral may be helpful, so you do not have to be the nagging partner all the time.

Mita admits that, "Resentment was starting to build in our relationship, so having an expert who did not take sides and just laid things out for us objectively made a big difference."

financial planner, for instance, can help both of you with a budget and resolve issues like getting rid of debt.

[Read: How to Free Myself from Debt]

Take Charge of Both Your Finances

While you are equal partners, be prepared to take the lead on things like making sure bills are paid on time and sticking to budgets, until he is ready to take greater responsibility.

[Read how 3 housewives manage their budget]

"I made sure that I was the one who kept track of all our bills, including his credit card bills and  other expenses," says Adinda, a full-time housewife.

However, do not forget to keep him in the loop. Inform him of payments to be made and targets that you both need to work towards.

Have Contingencies

Until you know whether or not your partner will abandon his bad money habits, it is a good idea to put some safeguards in place.

Having a separate bank account may help in this case. For  married couples, placing money where your partner cannot easily access them may be extreme, but necessary to ensure that both your futures remain stable.

Money is not worth breaking up a relationship for. So before it drives as wedge between you and the love of your life, take control of it.

Read also: The 5 Minute Money Check-Up

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